Saturday, May 29, 2004
i haven't written lately because I've mostly been writing in the journal I just aquired thanks to hugh's financial assistance at PureRave.com, my online raving community. Because I do so much goddamn raving (especially in Halifax...)...
Anyway I miss Toronto. I feel bad that I'm still working a shitty job and I'm afraid that it's never going to stop raining here. But I'm pretty sure I'd feel just as lonely if I lived in Toronto, because I have about an equal number of close friends in both cities.
Basically, for all of this year I've been struggling with belonging, in either city, and it sort of disappeared while I had a boyfriend, I guess because then there was another city added to my list of cities I hadda wrap my mind around... and because I was not lonely.
I've been fronting a lot lately like I want a boyfriend but at the same time I can't really picture anyone I'd want to be with (even the bartender. I don't know him at all).
I think I'm getting pickier. And bitchier! Everyone I meet lately I feel like I like them more than they like me. It's fucked up.
posted by Alison 5:20 PM
